Letters Of The Past
by TopazesandTulips
Summary: Tony thinks this day should go down in American history. Ziva does not. But what Tony later finds changes the team's relationship for the worse.
1. Chapter 1

A/N This fic is based in between season 3 and season 4 and based just before Gibbs comes back

The alarm had been going off for ten minutes before she could bring herself to switch it off. It read half past five which meant Ziva had been up for two hours. Insomnia was not a new part of her life and there was certainly to pattern to its outbreaks but there was usually something going on inside her head and while her headspace was not exactly a blue sky at the moment, it wasn't a thunderstorm either.

Sighing, she swung her legs off her window seat and made to stretch. At least she had an excuse for getting up now. Running had been a big part of her life for as long as she could remember. When she was younger, her and her best school friend would run down the dusty side alleys of Tel Aviv trying to beat each other. Occasionally her friend would win but it was usually Ziva. She had always been athletic and running was a natural part of her; not a habit instilled in her by Mossad, the IDF or her father. For a short while, she could forget who she was now and pretend that she was twelve years old again, running down those alleys with Na'ama, Mossad and the IDF a distant dream, the one black cloud in an otherwise blue sky.

It had been a while since she had felt like that.

The sound of her feet pounding on the pavement made her feel a lot better. It made her feel invincible. Indestructible. Because every day more she spent in America it was another day she felt human, broken even. Nobody really knew why she ran. Because she was vulnerable and because every time she was alone her heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces. To feel human was wrong. She needed to be a soldier. Because to be destructible was dangerous, to be _human _was dangerous. It was an error in the line of work to which she was used. Ziva felt her shields break and her defenses thaw every day she worked at NCIS. So she ran, because she felt her walls go up and her defenses freeze. And she liked it. She liked knowing that she could still be soulless.

Today was no exception but instead of focusing on the pain of slightly too small trainers and the pounding of her feet, Ziva found herself thinking of what she was missing. Sure, she often missed the movie references and the idioms and expressions that were part of her daily life but usually she thought in her native tongue and therefore did not get confused. Today was different. There was an emptiness in her stomach and a hollow feeling in her chest that wasn't there before. There was definitely something…

And then it hit her. Like a bullet to the stomach it hit her and took her breath away. Then came the overwhelming sense of guilt. How could she have forgotten? How could she have not remembered the date? It was America. They had made her soft. They had made Ziva truly forget why she was still fighting in this world or more accurately - fighting _for. _

Ziva doubled over on the pavement, unable to move and unable to breathe. The pain and loss was all too real and it felt like it was only hours instead of months. Although she didn't regret her decision, it was a bitter pill to swallow when you killed who you'd been trying to protect.

A tap on the shoulder brought her out of her misery-induced reverie. Looking up, Ziva saw it was a woman with a kind face. "Are you alright?"

Suddenly she was painfully aware that she was doubled over on the pavement outside a building. _Golden years retirement home _the sign read. Ziva could not even formulate an answer. All sorts of languages were getting jumbled up in her head so instead she nodded and made to get up.

"Are you sure you're fit to walk? I'd be glad to give you a lift home," the woman pressed and the only thing Ziva could think of what why on earth was this woman up at six in the morning.

"I am fine," Ziva said and started off in a shaky jog which progressed to a steady run. What had just happened was still an incomprehensible fact to her. Why did strangers stop to help people like herself when they were on the side of the road? Why didn't the dismiss her as a junkie or an alcoholic and go on their way? Why?

Why had what happened, happened?

"Morning, Ziva," McGee greeted her on her way into the bullpen.

"Good morning, McGee," She replied, carefully arranging her features into a perfect mask of nonchalance. Today was not going to be one of those unexpected heart to heart days or one where she would slip up and accidentally mention something about her past. No, no way.

Of course she had not counted on Tony waltzing into the bullpen with a cry of, "Hello my probies. Today is a day that should have gone down in American history. It is a day that should be remembered and celebrated by all as a national holiday. Kinda like the fourth of July without all the security checks and stuff.."

Ziva internally winced. "And what exactly should be going down in American history?"

Tony looked at her, mouth agape. "You don't know?" At Ziva's blank look he sighed deeply and prepared to launch into a great explanation. "Today, my little Israeli, is the day that the legendary Leroy Jethro Gibbs shot one of NCIS' most wanted bastards of all time. The very infamous Ari Haswari!"

Ziva fought the urge to rid her stomach of her meagre breakfast. All she wanted to do was run and hide so her friends (if she dared call them that?) didn't find out what dirty little secret she harbored. But that wasn't an option. So instead she looked at her computer monitor and mumbled, "I do not think that is worthy of going down in American history."

Tony looked at McGee, surprise on his face. Of course he hadn't expected Ziva to be ecstatic at why he was so happy; Ari had been Mossad after all and she had probably been friends with him or at least knew of him. Still, what was with refusing to meet his eyes and was that a _tear _he saw in her eye? Probably not. Ziva wasn't one for showing her emotions. She was probably tired because of her insane need to get up at half five for a run.

Pushing his concern aside, Tony turned to McGee and grinned. "So I met this pretty girl last night…."

Later on, after a particularly nasty encounter with a suspect, Ziva sat down at her desk and relished the silence. The squad room was empty and the relief was welcomed with open arms. All day, she had been wanting some time alone because it wasn't easy to mourn when everybody else was celebrating.

Checking over her shoulder carefully, Ziva pulled free a letter from where she's taped it to the underside of her desk drawer. A letter from Ari when he was studying in Edinburgh. The messy scrawl of English letters was faded after spending its life being pulled from envelopes rather violently but still legible.

_Dear Ziva, _

_It has been so long, don't you think? _ _I wanted to write this. I am not sure how long it takes the postal service to deliver from Scotland to Israel but I am sure it cannot be that long. How are you? How is your training going? I am sorry I have not been there but medicine is such an interesting topic and I am having such a good time. _

_I am writing this quickly before I go out. My friends and I decided to have a go at being tourists for the day. Edinburgh is so stereotypically Scottish it is quite unbelievable. Contrary to popular belief Ziva, Scottish people do not have all ginger hair and they do not all wear kilts. They are normal - although slightly pale - people with quite funny accents. Tourists are the ones who dress up in kilts with Saltire t-shirts so that is what we have decided to do. We will look so stupid but it will be so much fun!_

_How is Tali? Is she still singing? I love her voice and my only comfort are the tapes which she sends. How is the Deputy Director? Is he still ruling over the Mossad with his iron fist? Please give Tali a kiss for me. Sixteen years old, she will be trouble soon. _

_Stay safe, dear Ziva. _

_Haswari _

Tali had been dead within a week.

Tony, reading over her shoulder, couldn't believe his eyes. _Haswari? _That was his second name. The only one which he answered to in medical school.

"What the hell?!"

Ziva spun around quickly at the sound of Tony's angry voice. Quickly, she shoved the letter back to its hiding place but it was clear that it was futile. Standing up, she braced herself for a fight that was sure to come. It was lucky that just as it happened, Ziva David was a very gifted fighter.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" She hissed.

"Geez, I could ask you the same question. Haswari? As in 'Ari Haswari'? As in the murdering terrorist who killed my partner and shot at Abby?" The question was obviously rhetorical. "Why do you have a letter from him in your drawer?"

Ziva remained stony and silent.

"I bet he was your lover, your boyfriend. Yeah, it must get quite lonely on stakeouts, especially in the cold of the desert night. Doesn't leave a lot to the imagination," Tony shouted. Heads bobbed up from desks but bobbed back down quickly when they saw Anthony Dinozzo engaging in a heated conversation with the hot (dangerous) Israeli Mossad Officer who was still the talk of the office.

"You do not know-" Ziva started but was cut off by Tony, who was in full rant mode now.

"How long had you two been together? It's quite obvious he cared for you and you obviously care for him. Tell me, why did you come to work here after Gibbs killed him, huh? Revenge? Were you planning to gain our trust and then kill us all unsuspectingly and fly back to the protection of Mossad?"

Ziva was hurt now. How could he even think…? "Stop!"

"No, I will not stop. I won't stop because you don't deserve me to stop. What else have you been hiding from us? Was your sister a terrorist too?" He stalked off.

Ziva sat down, paralyzed with shock. Mentioning her sister had been the straw the broke the camel's back so to speak. How dare he judge her like that? How dare he when he didn't know a damned thing about her? _You came here to seek a new life for yourself. One away from all the lies and the terrorists and the pain. One away from the life you were used to, _she thought, her heart hurting, breaking into a thousand different shards.

_Oh, how you failed. _


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N - Hello there :) Thank you for the mostly positive reviews on the past chapter. To reviewer 'Rikki' let's clear some things up. This is set pre-Shalom which means that there is no proof anyone knows that Ari is Ziva's brother so therefore, this could have been the way they found out. Secondly soemtimes OCC isn't a bad thing and people do act out of character when they're extremely angry. Believe me. Thirdly, this is a collab account, created by two authors that have very busy lives and while we always try to check over our work and make sure it's okay, occasionally we do make mistakes and that's okay, it's how people learn. If you know the name of a good Beta then please, feel free to point us in the direction of one. Thank you for leaving your comments and telling us what you think, we appreciate it. Sorry for the long Author's note. Now let's get this show on the road :)_

Tony stormed towards the break room afraid that he would do something that he would regret if he stood by that, thing anymore. He trusted her, he accepted her into the new country, when things were bad he comforted her but now? It was all a waste a waste of his time. The nights he sat worrying, staring down the neck of the beer bottle willing to drink but stopping just in case she needed him. And all this time she was deceiving them, lying to them plotting revenge thinking of the best way to take them out, in honour of that bastard and now he knew, once Mossad always Mossad.

The anger radiated off him, the heat enough to burn the most sun resistant, Tony channelled the hurt and emotion into a kick directed straight at the vending machine. The contents rattled inside as the vibrations waved through the machine but Tony wasn't done. He kicked and he charged towards the machine until the earth crunching snap alerted the surroundings of its latest condition, one of brokeness full of cracks and dents, very much like the inside appearance of Tony.

Bystanders had gathered round as Tony directed hit after hit at food device and stayed to watch as the machine broke down along with its offender. The crowds watched with confusion as Tony repeatedly chanted 'liar' over and over again to everybody and anybody wondering who he was talking about, his head rolled into his hands and his palms muffled his cries as the crowds got bigger and bigger watching Tony as if he was an animal at a zoo.

An array of black whizzed around the corner, shocked at the sight of the man and rushed forward, followed quickly by a man. Together they hauled him up practically dragging him across the floor towards 'Labby'. Concerned and confused looks were passed between the pair over the top of the Agent's head holding up his weight as he refused to plant any weight on his feet. The elevator ride down was silent with the occasion whimper from Tony as the adrenaline wore off and the full extent of the pain kicked in. The cries of pain were quietened by the loud ding of the elevator indicating the end of the journey.

'Labby' was blaring with loud heavy music, the kind to make you go deaf. The letter flickered more and more into his mind like it was etching its place into his memory making sure he would never forget. Abby and McGee watched as their boss and brother figure broke down before them the anger still clear in his mind.

"Did you know?"

The question was as clear as a crystal but it still confused them, did they know what? It must have been important as although the anger was always evident, he had self control. He knew where to draw the line but today he threw the pencil out the window and watched as it got crushed in the street.

"Did you know that Ziva knew Ari?"

The look of shock was pure. Nothing was faked, nothing was hidden the emotion was clear on their faces. Abby's read anger much like McGee's but both also read confusion. What made Tony think that?

"You know, I found Ziva reading this letter you know she was, being secretive. I thought love letter so I went behind and read it" Tony's voice grew louder and louder as the sentence went on. "He called her dear and he signed it Haswari" Tony spat the word out with enough venom to kill a bear.

Abby and McGee stood there with equally disgusted faces the person they trusted and began to love was against them all that time. All read each other's minds and they all marched up to the bullpen where any sight of Ziva was gone. Tony walked over to Ziva's desk and searched through it not minding that he was going through personal items looking for the letter.

Ziva pushed the button for the rear elevator and quickly entered, as the doors closed she could see Tony going through her desk looking for the letter that was held tightly in her right hand. She pushed past the other agent in the elevator and made her way to her car where she sped off nearly crashing twice but then that was a normality for her.

Ziva now had a strong hatred for Tony. She could maybe understand why he had been so upset by the letter but to bring Tali into it after he had heard her regretful voice just over a year ago as they shared espresso and pizza was out of line. The tears lingered in her eyes blurring her sight as a lorry came out of the junction into the way of Ziva's red mini. The Israeli swerved dangerously through the traffic, the tears still threatening to fall the bare emotion stuck solidly on her face, the amount that no mask could cover.

Ziva halted sharply to a stop ignoring the traffic law of 'ease to a stop' and quickly exited the car slamming the door as she went. She jolted up the stairs with determination as her heart pounded through her lungs with the feeling that her rib cage was the only thing stopping it from exploding out of her chest.

Ziva pulled open her door with such force the hinges nearly collapsed and the slamming sound that followed with the shutting of the door almost shattered the windows.

Ziva was greeted with a picture of her, Ari and Tali, the one that sat proudly on the coffee table in her living room, the one that was conveniently hidden when the whole team had come to dinner, including Tony after her first dinner excluding him didn't sit well. As much as she had wanted to sit it proudly on the coffee table showing everybody who she was, she couldn't bare the reaction if the team had recognised Ari. She knew it was a rare possibility but she didn't know the research that was done on him and she couldn't take the risk, or rather the questions that followed. Ziva stepped into a much needed bath and the let the water relax her tense muscles.

Ziva stepped into her pyjamas and slowly lowered herself into her bed, her grip tight on the handle of her gun that had been slid underneath her pillow. The night was filled with nightmares, Tali's death mostly. The bang of the bomb and the flash in sky; a familiar sight in Israel, the country filled with murder. The bad dreams flickered between Tali's death and Ari's and Ziva fell into a restful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_HI ! Not going to keep you with a long author's note. Just want to say thanks for all the lovely reviews, you guys are the reason we write! Thank you so much, we love each and every one of you :D _

NCIS Special Agent Michelle Lee was smart. Very smart. She was the kind of smart that had fellow classmates groaning and teachers praising. She had to be. It had been her dream since she was small to be a lawyer and to get through law school on a scholarship was by no means easy. Lee was also perceptive. She knew when to keep her mouth closed and she knew what words to say when she had to open it. But for all her perceptiveness and her smarts, she couldn't figure out what was happening with the team to whom she had been recently reassigned.

It was at times like this she wished for Gibbs to come back. Lee had no real fondness for the man but it was clear to her that the others did and they saw her as his replacement - which she was not of course. They had all moved up the ranks and she had been plucked from the other reluctant agents to fill the slot. Of course she had heard of Tony's breakdown the day before. Everybody had. In fact, she had heard that the people at the Eastern European desks had a bet going to see how long it took before he checked himself into a clinic. It didn't make sense though; Tony was one of the most chilled out people she'd ever met. Yes, he would give her a hard time but it was clear there was no real malice or hate in the fun, it was just because she was a probie.

Looking over from her desk, she saw Ziva David walk in. Uncharacteristically late. Technically, it was only five past eight but Michelle had heard rumours that the formidable Mossad officer was always here by six, sometimes even earlier. Ziva looked awful; her red rimmed eyes and upturned mouth suggesting she'd had a tumultuous night. While herself and the Israeli were not exactly best-friends, Michelle couldn't help her concern.

"Good morning, Officer David," she said, trying to sound casual.

Ziva seemed startled at her presence but quickly recovered with her indifferent mask. "Good morning, Michelle."

And she just couldn't help herself because if the woman was in trouble then she might be able to help. "Are you okay?"

"I am fine," Ziva snapped and Michelle left it there. Tony had told her often enough during the long four months not to make Ziva angry and now she could see why.

Tony was nursing a hangover on his way into work. Last night had been spent drinking his liquor cabinet dry in order to forget her face, the hurt look in her eyes when he mentioned her sister. Had he hurt her? Good because God knows, she had hurt him. Ziva was meant to be their friend and part of their team. He had known it was a possibility that she had known Ari, and that hasn't bothered him because Mossad wasn't large and it was inevitable, especially since she was his Control Officer and all. But a lover? That was an entirely different story.

Almost wishing Gibbs was here to smack him out of it, Tony stormed into the bullpen; ignoring the wary looks he got from several other teams on his way in. He was lucky he was allowed into work today at all; the Director had reprimanded him fiercely for his 'unacceptable and inappropriate behaviour' and had told him that unless he could keep it together, he would be benched. So he had tried to drink away that possibility too. Tony stopped short. Ziva was there. Their eyes caught for a moment; hers holding anger and hurt and his holding… fire? Then Ziva exited the bullpen via the other exit, leaving Tony looking after her, not really sure what he was thinking.

Ziva couldn't get out the bullpen fast enough. She really couldn't trust herself to be around Tony right now, lest she stab him with a pencil or kill him with her own bare hands. America may have made her soft but not soft enough that she was past killing people when it was called for. She still couldn't get his words out of her head. She had trusted him with the knowledge of her sister. It wasn't her fault he was snooping and had taken things out of context. Ziva didn't know everything about his life, it should be no different the other way. Ari was off limits territory. To anyone.

Not watching where she was going, Ziva bumped into McGee. The look of surprise on his face only confirmed Ziva's worst fear; that Tony had told everyone.

"I am sorry, McGee. I did not see you," Ziva mumbled, head down, and made a move to keep on walking. Confrontation was not something she wanted today, or ever for that matter. She just hoped and prayed that McGee didn't want it either.

"It's fine. Hey, Ziva?" McGee called after her retreating form. She stopped and looked back and McGee could tell just how much this letter issue had affected her.

"Yes, McGee?"

"I just wanted to say that, um, no matter what Tony says, I know that you must have your reasons about the letter. I mean, when I first found out I was angry because I couldn't believe you would have loved someone like that and been plotting revenge all this time. Then I realised that you maybe didn't know. I've seen the wives that don't know their husbands are serial killers and I've seen what happens when everyone turns on them. I'm sorry, I was just angry. I've talked to Abby and I think she agrees but you might want to talk to her. I thought you should know."

Ziva nodded sadly, years of unshed tears appearing at the corner of her eyes. "Thank you, McGee." Her voice was unusually husky. "I did love him, but not like that. Not the way you are thinking. And no, I did not know… what he was capable of." With that she waked off, refusing to indulge in any other moment of explanation.

Tony sighed as he sat down at his desk, his head already pounding. He was lucky that they had just closed their latest case because he wasn't sure if he was able to trust Ziva in the field, and partners should have their lives in each other's hands. Now that most of the anger had subsided, Tony could see that he had really been a bastard by mentioning Ziva's sister. It wasn't about her. At all. And it was quite clear to him that Ziva's baby sister had been as innocent as a child could be with Eli as a father. This was about Ziva and her betrayal, this was about Ari and his murdering intentions and this was about himself for believing it for so long.

Not quite sure what he was doing, Tony opened Ziva's personnel file on his computer. It was a relatively short document, since she was just the liaison officer but he was hoping (praying) that he could find an answer to this betrayal.

_Surname: David _

_Forename: Ziva _

_Date of Birth: 12__th__ November 1982 _

_Place of birth: Be'er Sheva _

_Faith: Jewish (Not Orthodox) _

_Medical Issues: None known_

_Family; _

_Eli David (Father) _

_Occupation: Director of the Israeli Mossad_

_ Rivka David (Mother)_

_(Deceased) _

_Tali David (Sister) _

_(Deceased) _

_Occupation: Currently holding the position of Mossad Liaison officer with the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (Hereafter referred to as 'NCIS') _

That was pretty much the jist of it. Tony sat back in his chair, reflecting over what he had just read. First of all, she was a lot younger than he thought she was, almost twenty four. Secondly, he didn't realise that she had so little family left. Yeah, Tony only had his dad as his immediate family but he had only had him and his mom in the first place.

The sting of betrayal was still there though. He could understand why she hadn't told them about Ari, they all hated him, but it didn't make it any easier to stomach that she had been holding something back from them and had an ulterior motive for coming here.

Speak of the devil and he appears. Ziva strode into the bullpen seemingly unaware that Tony was there. Quickly, he closed the open document and made his way to Ziva's desk.

"I think we need to talk," he said. His tone was firm and while not exactly rude, it wasn't the most polite.

Ziva didn't even look up from her typing . "I have nothing to say to you."

Tony wasn't going to be undeterred. It had already been proved that he was a fighter. "I think you do. You need to explain what hat letter was and you need to explain why you're here and you need to explain why you haven't killed us already!" Tony's voice was rising in tempo.

Ziva looked up, her face impassive; a far cry from what she was feeling inside. "I do not need to explain my actions to you. Nothing I say would make any difference; you already seem to think you have your answers. I will not tell you what you are missing."

"Then tell me!" Tony almost begged. "Tell me what I'm missing and tell me I made a mistake and that you didn't love him and you were just his control officer. Tell me that letter was a figment of my imagination."

Ziva stood up and pushed her chair back with the back of her legs with a great force. It hit off the back of a filing cabinet with a great rattle but neither seemed to notice. "No! I do not have to tell you every single detail of my life, Tony. Stop snooping! You will only hurt yourself in the process. Leave me alone. It is safer that way. So what if I knew Ari? So what if I loved him? It is none of your concern. It does not affect you," Ziva hissed. Her hand was itching to pull out her knife and stab him or take her SIG and shoot him. Anything to make him feel the way she was feeling now; angry and hurt. Betrayed.

"So what?" Tony cried, incredulous. "That bastard killed my partner! He took a shot at Abby! Don't you dare say it doesn't affect me because it does. It does! And the worst thing is that I trusted you. We trusted you. We trusted you to have our backs and to look out for us and you were only using that trust to get revenge!

"Tony," Ziva almost whispered, "how could you even think…?"

"I don't know, Ziva. I don't know what to think about a damn thing anymore. All I know is that you're not who you said you were," Tony's face was taut. He wasn't sure what to think about anything. All he had known yesterday morning was not the same things he knew today. Was it really impossible to go back in time?

"Well, Tony. I suggest you figure it out. I will not stay here if I am not wanted," Ziva said, her features sliding back into the emotionless stance they were used to. She hadn't said it in so many words but the threat hung in the air. This time she was the one to walk out, leaving him standing with a pounding heart and pounding head.

Tony sat back down , leaning heavily in his chair. This totally sucked. Ever since Gibbs had been gone, he and Ziva had gotten closer. They'd began having movie nights; one of his desperate attempts to introduce her to American culture. He enjoyed them and she thought she did too. It was refreshing, seeing a slightly softer side to the assassin.

And now it was gone. Like the last drop of water in an unending dry desert.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello :) Okay, so we've been recieving a few questions about this fic so let's see if I can clear some of them up for you. 1) No, there will be no romantic Tiva at the end of this but there will be Tiva friendship so if you can't stomach that then I suggest you leave now. No hate for us or for you. It's easier that way. 2) This is not a Ziva bashing fic, okay? This is just a fic to show how it might have happened on the show and we get that Ziva isn't everyone's favourite character but we've tried to make this as even as possible. Please don't leave us reviews demonstrating your hate for Tiva/Ziva. We accept Contructive (Key word) Critisism and your opinion on the chapter/fic but that's all. If you have any other questions then please feel free to leave your comments in the nice little review box at the bottom of the page. Thanks :D_

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NCIS Forensic Scientist Abigail 'Abby' Scuito was angry. No not angry more than that, livid in fact. Trust was something you earnt something that had to be worked for. You look trust up in a dictionary and you get 'firm reliance on the integrity, or character of a person or thing.' Trust wasn't something that was given out easily it was built over a period of time. With each moment a little bit more trust added to the tower, a tower that never stopped growing. There was always a downside to buildings though, some buildings can't stand up against tornados. Abby and Ziva's trust was like a building. Slowly built up but then the tornado came along and ripped the building off the ground and threw it in the air breaking it apart as it went. Bricks broken, windows smashed into tiny fragments. Unrepairable.

The ding of the elevator was unnoticeable to Abby as she turned to face McGee. The blaring music was disregarded as Abby's rant to McGee continued.

"I can't believe she would do this to us" Sobs racked Abby's body as she curled up to McGee and she tightly squeezed Bert the hippo initiating the large fart that echoed around the room.

"Shh Abby, It's all going to be ok" McGee tried his best to comfort Abby but when her mind was made up it was made up. She was like a lion with her pray, once it was in her sights she wouldn't let it go. The black mascara lines that ran down her face screamed betrayal and upset, the bloodshot eyes only supported the idea. The truth was McGee didn't know if this could be fixed. It seemed that their family was broken beyond repair.

"I mean that bitch, all she ever was and will be is Kate's replacement and now we find out that her lover shot her in the head I mean come on McGee and we trusted her. She is just an emotionless bitch with no feelings or no care for other people's feelings. How dare she come in here and break apart our family need I remind her that I am a forensic scientist that can kill and leave on evidence. Who knows, maybe her whole family were terrorists"

Ziva stood outside the lab with tears in her eyes. All she wanted to do was storm straight in there and slap Abby round the face ten times harder than she had when she retaliated because she commented that Gibbs' guts would be more 'coffee brown' than blood red in the aftermath of the explosion. But the distraught and angry Ziva, who felt betrayed by the team as they wouldn't listen to her or let her prove herself and tell her story, wanted to see their faces when they found that Ari was not her lover but her brother.

A brother who taught her how to climb trees and ride a bike. A brother who never missed a ballet recital or a brother who comforted her when her mother died. Even though Rivka was never Ari's biological mother, she was more a mother to him than his own. A brother who loved her for who she was and not who she had become. The betrayal to his country and his men may not be excused but the love between a brother and a sister was irreplaceable.

Ziva decided to be brave; she took her heart and wore it on her sleeve ready for whatever would come. With a long and meaningful deep breath she stepped hesitantly into Abby's lab and made her presence known with a small cough.

Abby and McGee spun around with two completely different facial expressions. Abby's was fearless, ready for battle. Her eyes dark and sharp staring intently at Ziva and burning holes through her forehead. On the other hand; McGee's appearance gave away an impression of anxiety and his bravery slowly slipped away from his body. Ziva had to applaud herself; she still had the ability to scare the hell out of her colleagues even in this situation.

McGee slipped past Ziva and left the girls in peace, he knew from the start that this would be a catfight. It was dangerous territory to be in. An angry Abby who was fuelled by the knowledge of dishonesty and fury against a highly trained Mossad officer with the ability to kill with basic stationary were not the two kinds of people you would want to be stuck between if they were to fight.

"Ziva" Abby spoke with a surprising gentle tone for someone who had murder written in their eyes. "I didn't mean it like that, the bit about your family that is"

"If you did not mean it, you would not have said it in the first place" Ziva's tone of voice was unsurprisingly icy. The words were spat out with venom but also spoken with self control and calmness. She could understand Abby's upset but to speak of her family in such an ill manor was below the belt.

"Did you know?" Abby's eyes glared into her as she dared Ziva to answer the question with the stupid answer.

"Know what?" There it was. The stupid answer. Ziva knew what the question was about, she wasn't an idiot.

"THAT YOUR LOVER, THE ONE YOU LOVED, YOU PROBABLY STILL DO IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME, WAS A TERROIST THAT KILLED KATE AND TRIED TO KILL ME!" Abby's voice rose to a shout as she spoke the words slowly, allowing the statement to sink into Ziva's skin getting the comment to tear her heart apart as much as she could.

"No, I did not know. And I did love him, I always will" With that last comment, she turned around and marched out of the lab brushing past a shocked McGee who was still trying to get his head round the shouting match between the two women. McGee self-consciously led himself into the lab to find Abby researching Ziva.

"Abby, what are you doing?"

"I'm researching Ziva" McGee knew this was a bad idea but couldn't stop himself from delving into Ziva's past. It wasn't his fault that Ziva didn't let people know her before NCIS and right now, this was the right way to get the information he wanted to know. McGee read the following information.

_Surname: David _

_Forename: Ziva _

_Date of Birth: 12__th__ November 1982 _

_Place of birth: Be'er Sheva _

_Faith: Jewish (Not Orthodox) _

_Medical Issues: None known_

_Family; _

_Eli David (Father) Rivka David (Mother) _

_Occupation: Director of the Israeli Mossad (Deceased) _

_Tali David (Sister) _

_(Deceased) _

_Occupation: Currently holding the position of Mossad Liaison officer with the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (Hereafter referred to as 'NCIS') _

Abby went to click on 'Mossad Liaison Officer and accidently clicked on the profile of Eli David.

"This computer has been playing up all week!" The offending computer had already caused chaos with a case after another asked her to run forensics on a bullet. Abby had entered the bullet into the search and the computer had completely crashed.

"Look at the bright side, we can snoop Eli David" The profile of Eli David was on the screen and they had basic information of the Mossad Director.

_Surname: David_

_Forename: Eli_

_Date Of Birth: 9__th__ December 1955_

_Place Of Birth: Tel Aviv _

_Faith: Jewish (Not Orthodox)_

_Medical Issues: None Known_

_Family;_

_Michael David (Father) Chaya David (Mother)_

_(Deceased) (Deceased) _

_Nettie David (Sister) _

_Children,_

_Ziva David Tali David_

_(Deceased)_

_Ari Haswari_

_(Deceased)_

_Occupation: Director of Israeli Mossad _

"Did that just say Ari Haswari?"

"Uh-uh" Abby and McGee looked at each other as the guilt clouded their faces. They had unknowingly been horrible to Ziva, accusing her of dating a terrorist when all the time it had been her brother. The shattered relationship was now becoming harder to fix when it had been them wrong in the first place.

"Hold on a minute, just because she didn't date him it still doesn't excuse the fact they were siblings"

"You can't choose your family"

Abby and McGee had the same thoughts in mind now. They both had some serious apologising to do and they needed to tell Tony. They just didn't know what would be hardest.


	5. Chapter 5

_A big thank you to all of you lovely people who have reviewed our story positively or negatively! We thank you for taking the time to read and review! This is the second last chapter but there will be a nother fic coming after this one so you won't have to wait too long! Enjoy!_

* * *

It hurt more than it should. Ziva was used to hate and anger by now. Mossad had prepared her for that. In the early days, new recruits often accused her that her father's position as Deputy Director was the reason she moved up the ranks so fast. It wasn't. Ziva had worked hard to get where she was and had constantly felt like she had to prove herself more than the other officers. Officers eventually realised that she was hard working and diligent and more deadly than the others put together.

The supply closet was dark and cramped. Ziva worked out what shelves lines three of the four walls and that there wasn't a light switch. Tears weren't streaming down her face yet, she was far too good a soldier to let angry words maker her cry however there was some small part of her that _wanted _ to cry. She wanted to be able to mourn her brother - a privilege hat she has been deprived of - but at the same time, she didn't. Could you hate someone for who they were, but love them for who they had been?

Although she hadn't been in here long, Ziva was surprised she hadn't been discovered yet. Usually this corridor was bustling with the cleaning staff and maintenance crew. The she remembered that 'water damage' sign she had slipped round on her way in here. All these feelings and emotions were new to her. It was so strange; she had been thinking of her family a lot more than she had over the past year and it scared her.

People could hate for the wrong reasons. It wasn't something she had to share. Ari was her family and hers alone, nobody else cared about him when he was alive yet they suddenly care when he was dead? It was ridiculous. Ziva only knew things about everyone else because of the dossiers she did for Ari but other than that, she didn't know things that weren't on record.

Time for self pity was over, she decided. Brushing herself off, Ziva stood up and built up the walls around her shattered heart. It was clear she wasn't wanted here so she would get moving. It would take a few days for her liaison to be terminated officially but it would take a few days to cancel her lease (well, it would take longer than that officially but her landlord could be persuaded if there was a gun at his ribs and a knife at his neck) and pack her belongings anyway. Yes, things would turn out just fine.

...

"What are we going to do, McGee? I mean, he was her _brother _and we were totally awful to her, saying nasty things that didn't even make any sense," Abby cried, throwing her hands up in the air as she paced the length of her lab; a habit that had developed as of late.

McGee was feeling bewildered. He could understand Ziva's actions better now than he had before. "I did apologise to her. Earlier in the corridor. I told her that I wasn't angry anymore and she told me that she did love him, but not in the way I thought. It was staring us in the face all along."

It was evidently the wrong thing to say for Abby turned around and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You _knew _this and didn't _tell _ me? What is wrong with you? You let me say all those horrible, nasty things about her!"

"Hey, there wasn't anything to tell," McGee tried to defend himself but Abby had already turned away from him and was back to her pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. Quite soothing actually.

"Why didn't she tell us Ari was her brother though? Did she think we wouldn't be more accepting? Did she not trust us?"

McGee sighed. The answer was right there but Abby had a habit of ignoring the answer if it was one she didn't particularly care for. "Think about it, Abs. Her brother's just committed a crime that she didn't know he was capable of and she was here defending him. Then Gibbs goes and shoots him and while we're all celebrating, she's remembering the brother she had. Do you really think that you would have done something different?"

Abba sank into her desk chair with little more grace than a sumo wrestler. "I guess not. It's just so … hard, you know? I mean I said all those horrible things about her and I didn't even mean 'em. They just came out. Like how you say things you don't mean when you're angry. What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know but we better decide soon. I know one thing, we definitely should apologise. Ziva won't stay somewhere she's not wanted," McGee said, rubbing his eyes. Since when had he become so tired? When was the last time he slept? Obviously so far back that he couldn't remember it.

"You think she'll leave?"

McGee nodded, "I do. But you know it won't be our apology that she wants?"

Abby nodded as well, understanding. "We need to talk to Tony. It's him that started all of this. If he had just left his goddammed nose where it was then we wouldn't be here. Do you know where he is?"

"No. But we better find him soon. I really think Ziva's contemplating going back to Mossad, to her father. Family."

"Why?" Abby's voice resembled that of a small child. "Why would she go back to her father? He's a devious piece of-"

"Abby!" McGee cut in before she could say some ungodly word that would make a sailor blush. "She's already had to choose between NCIS and family. I don't think NCIS will win out twice."

...

Ziva walked into Abby's lab more confidently than she precisely felt. Her 'game-face' was on; eyes dead ahead and her head held high. It wasn't that she wanted to be back down here again but her printer in the bullpen had broken and the only other one her computer was linked to was Abby's and Ziva needed to print off her liaison termination.

Walking in, Ziva was totally unprepared for the attack Abby launched in the form of a hug.

"Oh my God Ziva I am so, so sorry. I had no idea that Ari was your brother. I swear I didn't mean any of those things, I was just angry, you know?" Abby babbled.

Ziva could feel the tell-tale pricks of tears at her eyes and firmly told herself that she would not cry. Good soldiers did not cry. She disentangled herself from Abby and maintained a straight face. The time for tears had come and gone. "Thank-you, Abby. I came down here because the printer in the squad room is broken and I cannot wait for a repair man. I have sent the document to yours. Would you please print it off for me?"

"Sure thing," Abby moved over to her computer. She would give Ziva anything she wanted now, anything. Guilt was tearing away at her like a savage animal. "I am so sorry for what I said about your family. I saw your personnel profile and I saw that your mother and sister are dead. I'm really sorry and Timmy is too."

Ziva could not help herself. "Are you telling me that you would not have said those things if you knew my family were dead?"

"No!" Abby gasped, "I just want to say that I was wrong and I shouldn't have said what I did. I would never have used your family as a weapon against you - alive or dead- if I wasn't angry."

Ziva nodded and moved closer to the printer when the machine started coming to life. When the wheezy machine finally spat out her letter, she gave Abby a curt nod and exited the room but not before Abby saw the words _letter of termination . _

Oh my God. What had they done?

...

Tony had already affirmed that the best place to go if you wanted some sympathy was Abby's lab. She was always ready to listen and ready to give you a hug, whether you needed one or not and always had a sympathetic ear. Tony figured that if anyone would listen to his Ziva-bashing tirade then it would be Abby. Especially considering how nasty she'd been to her when she'd first started.

"Hey, Abby? I need to talk to you about some things," Tony shouted as he entered the lab. He was really just expecting Abby to be on her own - working but he saw her standing at her desk, shouting down the phone.

"No, you listen to me. I said stop Officer David from leaving the building. …. Of course I'm serious, would I ask you if I wasn't? …. You're security, right? Surely you can stop a 180 pound female…. Of course I know she's Mossad, what kind of stupid question is that? I hardly think she would kill you, castrate you maybe. Oh shut up, I was joking…" Abby looked up from the phone to see Tony boring holes into her head . Quickly, she dropped the hone back into the receiver and matched his unnerving glare.

Tony tried to keep calm, really, he did. But the mention of Ziva's name started to make his blood boil unintentionally. For Abby's sake, he tried to stay even and started taking deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out.

"Who was that?" He asked, although he already knew the answer. It more of a polite question.

"Um… security. I was calling them to stop Ziva from leaving the building," Abby said, wringing her hands nervously.

"Why?" Abby's nervousness reminded him of a child caught doing something they shouldn't and while Abby was no longer a child, she always got that guilty look whenever she was caught red-handed.

"Tony," her voice was soft, like a hunter talking to an injured quarry before they delivered the kill blow, "it's not what you think. With Ziva. You were wrong. McGee and I found out things that you're going to want to listen to."

"Hmph. What is there that you could possibly know that I don't already? Ziva loved Ari, he was her boyfriend and now she's planning revenge. Doesn't get much deeper than that." Tony's tone was hard and cruel but betrayal cut him deep and he felt like he was bleeding inside. It was hard to stay and play nice with a pain like that.

"You misunderstood, Tony!" Abby cried. "Ari wasn't her boyfriend. At all! So will you just shut the hell up and listen to me before you regret something!" Abby shouted, throwing her hands up in the air as a sign of her deep frustration.

"What exactly did I misunderstand? I saw the damned letter! I read it! It didn't leave much to the imagination, Abby!"

"That Ari was Ziva's brother, not her boyfriend!" The words tumbled out and it was too late to take them back. Abby watched the shock take hold of Tony's face and then transform back into an ugly shade of anger.

"Your lying!" He accused.

"No, I'm not. See?" Abby said, brining up Eli's profile on the computer. Tony moved in for a closer look and then saw as clear as day the three children of Eli David of which Ziva was the last one standing.

"Oh my God, I need to apologise to her, Abs," Tony said, running his hands through his hair. This whole ordeal was turning fast into a nightmare.

"Like hell you do! But do it soon, she asked me to print out her liaison termination letter," Abby said and watched as it served as a catalyst for Tony's emotions.

"What!? You didn't give it to her did you?"

"It had already printed out before I knew what it was. She'd sent the document down here because the one in the squad room isn't working."

Tony shouted a quick, "Thanks, Abby," before dashing off to find Ziva, wherever she may be.

He'd be dammed if he let her get away.


	6. Chapter 6

_Bonjour! How are we all today? Today we bring you the final chapter of this small series. We've really enjoyed writing this and we hope you've enjoyed reading it. We know some of you don't like all the characters here but we've tried to make things as even as possible and we hope you appreciate that. There is Tiva friendship at the end of this chapter, just to let you know. If you can't handle that then we suggest you stop reading here but don't give us any hate. Just because it's not your cup of tea. Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH! to everyone who has reviewed. 31 reviews for five chapters, that's amazing! We hope you like this chapter and please leave a review in the lovely big box at the bottom of the page. (It was fully functional the last time we checked) Without further ado, we give you the final chapter :)_

_A/N - The resignation letter goes on Tony's desk beacuse he is the team leader since this is set before the start of season 4 when Gibbs is in Mexico. :)_

* * *

Ziva placed the resignation letter neatly on Tony's desk. The crisp white piece of paper that held her future stood out against the mahogany wood that held Tony's possessions. She placed her shiny gold badge and standard sig next to her letter and stepped back to take a look at the scene before her. The tears gathered in the back of her eyes as she stored the scene in her memory as she remembered the times she had had with the team.

A stray tear took the journey down her cheek and she swiftly brought her hand up to wipe it away. As Ziva felt more tears build up behind her eyes, she tore her head away and looked towards the elevator. Ziva placed her feet one in front of the other and slowly took tentative steps towards the big metal machine.

With a glance back, Ziva thought back on her time at NCIS and prepared to make the final steps to freedom. The elevator shifted as it continued its journey to the garage. As Ziva opened her car door she saw the shadowing figure of Tony staring down at her from the window in the squadroom clutching her badge, gun and resignation letter in his hand.

Ziva tilted her head towards the window and blew Tony a goodbye kiss which he clasped in his hand. His eyes showed sympathy making Ziva wonder if he had finally found out the truth. She granted herself with one more glance upwards before sighing deeply and making herself comfortable in her car seat.

The drive to her apartment was spent in almost silence with the radio generating the only noise in the vehicle. The song playing filled Ziva's head with unanswered questions and so many possible answers.

_But if you close your eyes_

_Does it almost feel like _

_Nothing changed at all?_

_And if you close your eyes,_

_Does it almost feel like_

_You've been here before?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

_How am I gonna be an optimist about this?_

It had happened before. She had trusted and had gotten hurt. It was one of the few times she had grown to love the people she worked with, in Mossad everything was so serious. Yes ok, she would admit that sleeping with your partner wasn't exactly serious but when it came to missions if you screwed up, you would pay dearly.

NCIS was so relaxed it was unimaginable. The jokes and teasing would never last an hour at Mossad but with NCIS it seemed to come in the package. When you woke up in the morning you expected to laugh that day so hard you could almost cry. The most serious case could be forgotten for just a moment as you enjoyed a brief reprieve.

But now there was no turning back. The jokes would be stopped and Ziva would go back to being the assassin she once was. She didn't think it now. The more time she was separated from Israel and her father and the killing world, the more she thought of herself as a person and she thought even more about the people she had killed.

Through childhood it had been described as being in need of the 'greater good' and Ziva had to admit to some extent it was, murdering terrorists and mass killers. They were tasks that Mossad seemed to take great pleasure in and also wanted to be applauded for.

Ziva swung her car into its allocated parking space and she walked slowly up to her apartment, savouring the last few moments she would allow herself before she freed herself from this world. The noise of heavy footing passed over Ziva's head as she committed herself to her feelings and thoughts.

The click of her key in its lock sounded for what would be the last time as Ziva dragged herself into her apartment as she made plans for packing in her head. The loud hammering on the door only made Ziva more fed up as she unwillingly pulled the door open to reveal an out of breath Tony who was still clutching her letter.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure"

Ziva moved to the side as Tony tried to get his breath back. She wondered what had brought him here. Not long ago he had been accusing her whole family of being terrorists and had blatantly ignored her refusing to make eye contact.

"Ziva I'm sorry about-"

"I do not what to hear your apologies, what you said was hands up offensive"

Tony let the idiom go as he sighed deeply. He knew he was wrong to say what he had said but he was angry but to him it was perfectly justified.

"Not only was it offensive, you also refused to listen to my side of the story"

"I know Zi and I'm so sorry"

"I want to forgive you but-"

"Come on Zi please don't do this"

"Do what Tony? Refuse to forgive the man who called her whole family terrorists? Who disrespected her dead sister? I told you that because I trusted you! Because it felt right to confide in you!"

"Ziva I don't know what you want me to do"

"I do not know what you can do to make it better"

Tony's face fell as he realised that he may have broken the friendship they shared. He so badly wanted to put this behind them but the more he listened to Ziva the more he realised how wrong he had actually been.

The things he had said now sounded vile, the kind that left a bad taste in his mouth and he had no idea how to make it right. Tony knew he couldn't repair everything with a joke or a movie quote as he always did. He would have to pull out all the stops to get this friendship back on the road.

"Ari was not always a monster"

Her words took him by surprise and all he wanted to do was yell at her and tell her that you can't create monsters that bad but he knew that the more he listened the more forgiveness he could get.

"He was a good brother; he taught me how to climb trees and how to ride a bike. You know when my father first started to train me Ari would always be my trainer. He used to train me in the gym by our house so he could easy on me. He understood that my body couldn't cope with the pressure my father wanted to put me through, if Ari had not of trained me the chance that I would be severely injured would be stupidly high. Do you know the amount of deaths and injuries we get in training? Too many, many children die as they train, too many miles not enough water. Most collapse and die from dehydration or exhaustion.

"That was nearly me once. Ari had gone out and my father decided to have me train with a fully trained officer it was only a few years ago that he had told him to 'not go easy on me'. My body was not ready, nearly but not quite. I ran 20 miles that day then cycled 10 more. Then I had to fight with him. Ari came along just before I fell to the floor. He was training to be a doctor and he examined me showing dehydration and exhaustion. 10 more minutes and I would most likely be dead he said."

Tears were in Ziva's eyes as she relieved the painful memory. Tony could only watch as she finally broke down and the tears shook her body. Tony wrapped her strong in his arms as she sobbed for her brother.

"I realise now, Tony, that you were right to question me"

"Ziva I'm sorry"

"You are forgiven"

Tony let her go and stuck his hand out in front of him.

"Truce?"

"Truce"

Ziva shook Tony's hand before he pulled her back into his arms and rocked her silently as he kissed her head repeatedly. The moment could now be put behind them and they could carry on like just before.

"Are you still resigning?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Me? No definitely not! I like you here it's nice"

"Ok"

"Ok?"

"Ok Tony do you need your ears checked in your old age?"

"You've done it now!"

Tony clutch Ziva's sides and began to tickle her. Laughter pure and sweet came out her mouth as her muffled complaints were drowned out by the door being banged. The constant banging ended the present moment as the knocker would not stop.

Ziva pulled herself up and straightened her shirt. Abby stood behind the door with a very apologetic McGee. She flung herself at Ziva murmuring apologies as she moved more and more into the apartment and the embrace was only broken as the slamming of the door by McGee startled the pair.

"Ziva I'm so sorry"

"Abby it is fine; I now understand your reaction"

"Please don't resign please please please"

"I won't"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

Abby then pulled the group into a family hug. Life was complete. They had each other. They had family.

**AN/ Song was Pompeii by Bastille **


End file.
